Grief and Bereavement Care

Article to Help Parents talk to Children & Teens about Connecticut Tragedy

Renowned grief expert, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, has written an article about the tragic events in Newtown, Connecticut. The article offers advice to parents and caregivers of children and teens about how to "communicate and cope with an event that has perhaps left them with feelings of sadness, fear or uncertainty."

The National Funeral Directors Association has made this article available on their website and we are pleased to share this link with our readers. Please click here to view the article in pdf format.

Spiritual Services activities may be found on the Upcoming Events page for the spiritual services calendar.

Our Chaplains/Bereavement Coordinators are available to offer grief support to anyone in the community in need of this service, regardless of whether or not you have had a loved one in the Hospice program. Community grief and bereavement support is offered at no charge and is partially underwritten by funding from United Way of Rockingham County. You may reach a chaplain by calling the Hospice office at (336) 427-9022.

How to Help a Grieving Loved One during the Holidays

Twelve Practical Tips for Saying & Doing the Right Things

The holidays are quickly approaching, and while many people look forward to yearly traditions, gatherings with family and friends and the general good feelings associated with the season, some people dread the holidays. For those who have lost a loved one during the past year, the holidays may emphasize their grief.

The holidays, especially the first ones after losing a loved one, are especially difficult for one who is grieving. Often, friends and family members of those affected by a loss are unsure how to act or what to say to support their grieving loved one during the holidays.

Many people are not aware that Hospice of Rockingham County is a valuable resource that can help people who are struggling with grief and loss. HRC provides bereavement support to the families we serve and we offer services to other members of the community as well.

1. Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to change their rituals. Remember, there is no right way or wrong way to handle the holidays.

2. Offer to help the person with baking and/or cleaning. Both tasks can be overwhelming for one trying to deal with raw emotions.

3. Offer to help him or her decorate for the holidays.

4. Offer to help with holiday shopping or give your loved one catalogs or on-line shopping sites that may be helpful.

5. Invite the person to attend a religious service with you and your family.

6. Invite your loved one to your home for the holidays.

7. Help your loved one prepare and mail holiday cards.

8. Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holiday season. Doing something for someone else, such as helping at soup kitchens or working with children, may help your loved one feel better about the holidays.

9. Donate a gift or money in memory of the person’s loved one. Remind the person that his or her special person is not forgotten.

10. Never tell someone that he or she should be “over it.” Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, he or she will enjoy the holidays again.

11. If he or she wants to talk about the deceased loved one or feelings associated with the loss, LISTEN. Active listening from friends is an important step to helping him or her heal. Don’t worry about being conversational ... just listen.

12. Remind the person you are thinking of him or her and the loved one who died. Cards, phone calls and visits are great ways to stay in touch.

In general, the best way to help those who are grieving during the holidays is to let them know you care. They need to be remembered, and they need to know their loved ones are remembered, too. Local hospice grief counselors emphasize that friends and family members should never be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, because making an effort and showing concern will be appreciated.

Hospice is a philosophy of care for patients with life-limiting illnesses. A team of professionals and trained volunteers offer care and comfort to patients and their families when a cure is no longer possible. Fully covered by Medicare and most insurance companies, hospice services are available at home, in a nursing home or assisted living facility, or in HRC's residential & inpatient facility.

More information is available from the chaplains at Hospice of Rockingham County at (336) 427-9022 or from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization at www.caringinfo.org or by calling the HelpLine at 1-800-658-8898.

(The article above was adapted from outreach materials provided by National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization.)

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